An open letter to April

Dear April;

Dear April, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I wonder what you would be like today and what type of amazing woman you would have grown into. I wish you were here we could celebrate life together. Your life, light, bravery, and strength have been a beacon for me to keep finding my way to keep moving forward past the adversary that comes my way. When I feel weak I think of your strength as you went to chemo and how hard you fought to get better. I truly feel like a part of you lives on inside me. When I’m hurt I remember seeing you in the hospital on Christmas and watching the laughter erupt in your room as you kept making us laugh. When I feel like there is too much darkness in the world I remember how amazing you were just to know. You lit up the room and our lives. You are my first friend, my best friend, and my sister. I can’t begin to express how much I love you.

Dear April, I remember my first kiss behind your dad’s truck with Kenny from next door. I remember bringing a suitcase of candy to your house every weekend that I came down and sharing it with all of your friends. I still have that suitcase. I remember sneaking downstairs at your house in the middle of the night to watch Terminator 2. I remember forcing you to dress up like a pilgrim for our thanksgiving day parade. Your dad was so pissed when we marched out in the middle of the football game.

Dear April, your dad threatens every man I’ve ever dated in colorful language and frightening truth. This is how I always imagined him doing for you, along with your brothers by his side.

Dear April, I remember the time we were at the park with Ben, Lurah, and Nate and some kids started to bully us. We sent Ben running back to my house and within seconds my dad, your dad, and your brothers were flying down the road in the escort ready to pounce on anyone who might be trying to hurt us. We truly are surrounded in love and support in our family.

Dear April, I kept my promise about driving to your house as soon as I get my license. I had to build up the courage to get my license, not because I was afraid to drive, but because I knew I couldn’t break that promise.

Dear April, I wish you would’ve taken pictures with us. I don’t possess a single picture of us together where I can see your face. Your school photo is the only thing I have. And memories, memories of the most beautiful soul I have ever known.

Dear April, In that suitcase I have the few items that remind me of you. An alarm clock and a crimping iron that you gave me for my birthday and some Christmas card you sent me. I have a friendship necklace that was your half of our heart. This is all I have.

Dear April, in your short life you have touched the lives of so many people and made us all want to be better versions of ourselves. you are so dearly loved

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