Over the past few years we have started and continued Make Every April Better, a fundraising organization dedicated to raising funds for CHOP in order to assist in finding a healthier and less invasive treatment to cancer.
Today is what I refer to as my “dark day” (stolen from Gilmore Girls). 365 days a year I remember April and 364 of those days I use the strength and positive nature I had learned from her to be a better version of myself. I remember her fondly during season changes, birthdays, family gatherings, holidays, etc. Today is the one day I allow myself to feel loss and sadness. I miss her, I wonder what she would have grown to look like today and where we would be in our lives together. I get upset that I can’t drive to her and hug her and tell her how much of a wonderful impact she has been in my life. Nothing has ever been so devastating to me in my life the way that losing her has been. Today I embrace the hurt of not having her physically in my life.
As the years have passed, this day has not gotten easier but it has been an amazing way to transform my longing to have her here into the thoughts of how to help the future.
Today I will shed tears for her, I will mourn her, I will remember all the promises I had made to her and have held up to, I will let it be okay to hurt in this loss.
Tonight I will wish you all could’ve known her, her absolute strength, beauty, and love, if only so that you can understand what has inspired me to become the person I am today.
Tomorrow I will be strong and keep pushing forward to Make Every April Better.
Thank you my most amazing friend, a part of my heart, my April, for being a wonderful part of my life.
Please help us raise the funds needed to find a better treatment for cancer. Go to www.everyapril.org to learn more about Make Every April Better. Register for our upcoming 5K, donate online, or shop for cool stuff. Please help us, this is my way to give back to April and use what she taught me to help the future generations survive cancer.